ugh! bitches!!! && other very important things =]

...&& i only call you bitchs cuz i don't know ya names individually

BUT i can't wait for them to get outta my SPACE!! GETTIN IN THE WAY OF WHAT I'M FEELIN lol

can't wait till tomorrow [*cheesin stupidly*]

ANYWAY pressing on i DON'T do well feeling any sort of neglect. i MEAN I DON'T! i had issues with it from a young age so when i feel it from ANYONE it drives me crazy. i hate it. On top of all that i feel like im too great of a BEING to be pushed to the side. call it cocky...call it what chu' want but i have self worth.

...actually lets go back down memory lane in Jasmines life [yes jasmine, before Bonita had made a full take over] I've always had issues with being alone. The feeling of being alone whether mentally or physically always bothered me. it started when i was about 9, not gonna go into it but it's deep rooted. so till this day whenever i feel pushed to the side by ANYONE it really bothers me. brings back memories i've truly tried to forget and for the most part have. but ya know how memory is triggered by certain smells and certain words or acts...well thats what happens. it triggers it =/ so again i don't like it. with age i've realized it & made it a point to make peace with those issues. now i've done a damn good job but i mean i am but a poor lil l.a girl [lol] i carry the weight of a lot on my back as is. and to be honest i've grown like crazy. i'm only 21...i've been going thru self realizations since i was 16. i dont know ANYONE who realized at a young age they didnt wanna be the person they were becoming. now it wasn't easy BUT i've shed a lot of things i didn't like about myself including people. i'm still getting to where i wanna be though. changing is HARD but i NEVER change for ANYONE. i do it because jasmine knows whats best for jasmine. i dont give a fuck what ANYONE thinks or feels. i have to want it and for the most part i know where my flaws lie.
My newest issue though is relasionships, i've said it once before still stands. although it's not a new issue. it's ALWAYS been the issue. as soon as shit goes wrong with ANY relasionship i have...i run. i don't like dealing with drama cuz believe me i have enough. an although it's my mother... dealing with a woman whom has lupus & has been on predisone for over 10 years is difficult. one of the hardest things i've dealt with [look up predisone...it's crazy! i swear] anyway back on topic i don't like unecessary drama. i have more important shit to worry about so NEXT IS once you realize i am dealing with your bullshit [for whatever reason i am] take heat to it. must mean i really care...cuz lemme tell you something about myself i tolerate very little..i mean very little. anyone who knows me can say the same. so yes i may tolerate some now but it can and WILL get old. don't take it/me for granted

so all this boils down to is appreciate and adore everything i embody.


onto other things today has been good. fuego & i got up and had breakfast at dennys. My friend Aaron met us up there AFTER WE HAD ALREADY ATE...& on top of all that he was suited n booted! tryna out do beautiful fire but i mean it's all good. we're the shit regardless [but yet i repeat we're so fuckin humble ahahhaha]

moving on i can not fuckin WAIT till tomorrow ughhh! the kid been losin her mind lol

"CHERiSH THE DAY"...SADE