dear mommy

I could never hate, yeah it may seem as tho I can't stand you, I must
admit I do dislike the things you do, but you gotta understand the pain
I feel when you run off at the mouth, I sometimes doubt it'll ever get
better, and its not being negative but you know me, im just being
realistic, I swear sometimes I can't even look past some of the shit
you've said to me, Lord knows its him when I say "your forgivin", im
not sure when we took the turn for the worst, probably around the time
when the doctor said "its getting worse", what I don't understand is why
you act like you hate me so much, I swear if I could change it, id give
it to someone else, life for us shouldn't be such of a struggle, your
suppose to be my guidance whenever I feel troubled, how could you ever
tell me you wish you never had me, people try and tell me "jasmine its
just the medication talking" , but im like yo that's my mothers lips
moving, I pray that one day pride will move out the way, I don't really
pray about the lupus cause I know it won't go away, but just know
despite what you think I love you dearly, I just show my emotions
differently, no matter how good life is to me, I know this isn't the
life for me and my mommy